It is normal to argue or bicker with your partner. But do you argue just because they liked someone’s profile photo on Facebook? Have you ever felt humiliated because your partner couldn’t stop checking their Instagram updates while you tried talking to them? Have you ever snooped on your partner’s WhatsApp just to check whom they are chatting with?
There is no denying that social media has become an integral part of our lives. It may facilitate better communication with people, but addiction to it can become a hindrance or a reason for a communication gap with people around us. Let’s have a look at the ways how social media destroys relationships.
Can Social Media Really Destroy A Relationship?
Social networking sites or social media platforms help you connect with people and exhibit your achievements, talents, and personal life. And through these sites, you start living an online life where you can be anything you want. This online life shows people only what you want them to see and portrays a fancy picture of you. When your online life overshadows your real life, it is bound to impact your personal relationships. You start to spend more time online than interact with your family and friends.
Like most other addictions, fixation with social media is not healthy and can affect personal relationships. Below are some reasons that explain the bad effects of social media addiction.
15 Ways How Social Media Destroys Relationships
Although social media is supposed to be a useful communication tool, overusing it can affect personal relationships in the following ways.
1. Your past may interfere with your present
You may be happy with your current partner. But when an ex messages you on your messenger, it can refresh memories and tempt you to get back with them. You may not have any wrong intentions, but the fact that you are in touch with someone you once shared a close relationship with might make your partner feel insecure and even cause friction between you two. It is best to keep your past from interfering with your present.
2. Phubbing can be humiliating
Phubbing is a term used to explain the habit of ignoring or snubbing someone present right in front of you by being engaged with your phone (1). Imagine how awful it must feel when you tell your partner how someone was mean to you at work, and they suddenly guffaw because they saw a funny meme on Facebook. Such behavior is sure to hurt anyone emotionally.
3. Your virtual life can take over your personal life
Your partner plans a romantic date night for you, and as soon as you reach the restaurant, you first check your Facebook update. Then, you click a lovely couple photo as soon as you get to the table and upload it as your WhatsApp status. When your food arrives, you cannot have it immediately because you are busy trying to get the perfect shot for your Instagram. And then you spend the rest of the evening checking the likes and comments on your pictures. This unending obsession with social media might frustrate your partner as you two hardly get to speak to each other the entire evening. The need to have a cool virtual life can damage your personal life.
4. You may find it difficult to avoid temptations
Social media has made everyone “approachable.” People who we would not approach in real life become easy to talk to online. This ease in communication makes you want to explore your options in terms of dating and romance. This could lead you to cheat on your partner because it is easy to flirt from behind the safety of a phone or a computer screen.
5. You may become less interested in each other
Previously, couples would enjoy cuddling on the bed or sofa, but nowadays, couples reach straight for their cell phones instead of talking to or holding each other. Even before getting intimate, couples are often on their phone instead of indulging in some fun foreplay. Over time, this could lead to dissatisfaction in bed and a total lack of interest in physical intimacy.
6. Your expectations from your partner may change
When we see our friends put up lovey-dovey couple photos online, we too wish to do the same. This can lead to conflicts, especially when your partner is not able to meet your expectations. By posting romantic images and status online, we manage to paint a rosy picture, but in real life, we lose chances to strengthen a love relation. This public display of affection instead of a personal conversation can have a negative impact on couples.
7. It may intrude on your privacy
Some people are obsessed with generating online buzz that they upload pictures of even their most intimate moments. When you do it just to prove that you have a great relationship, it does nothing but steal your precious private moments of happiness and leaves you with a desperate need for validation.
8. Unwanted attention can spoil the mood
You are on vacation with your partner on an exotic island. You post a picture on the beach and are glued to your phone to check the likes you get. Someone posts a nasty comment that spoils your mood and ruins your vacation with your better half. People’s opinion matters, but you should not seek it for every event in your life. Let some special moments be exclusive for only you and your partner.
9. It can make you insecure
It is not uncommon for spouses to check the reactions to their partner’s status and pictures online. You want to know who is commenting on your partner’s posts and what your partner is replying to them. And if you spot their former love interest or someone they once liked comment on their post, the insecure part of you might just get into an argument with your partner over it.
10. It can dwindle intimate personal conversations
When you started dating your partner, you must have spent hours chatting with them online. Back then, your heart would ache from wanting to meet them personally. Now that you are right next to them, all you do is flick through one social media to another on your phone. Addiction to social media can eat into your personal time and dwindle the intimate conversations with your partner.
11. It could lead to unhealthy comparisons
You may have a happy and content family life, but the moment you see your friend partying at an expensive club with their partner, you will feel unhappy about not being able to do the same. You may feel that your friend is happy with her spouse while you are living a boring, average life. This comparison may lead to discontentment in life and cause strains in a relationship.
12. It can deprive you of attention in real life
Your partner may put up a mandatory “Happy Birthday” post for you online, expressing how much they love you. But if they do not even offer a warm kiss on your birthday in real life, what is the point of it? Partners feel that posting a public love declaration is now enough to keep your partner happy. This thought is wrong, and the lack of personal attention in real life can take a toll on your relationship.
13. Posting every emotion online can cause unwanted fights
Imagine your spouse returning home angry because their colleague asked them about your fight that morning. How did they know? They read your cryptic post about marriage being difficult and your spouse being uncaring of your feelings. Online posts often display what you may be feeling in real life. This habit of yours can annoy your partner and cause unwanted fights.
14. Stalking can become addictive
Your spouse may have revealed about their past relationships or romantic conquests to you. You may act unaffected on the outside, but the moment you are alone, you might check out their “ex’s” online activities. You might start feeling jealous and may obsessively stalk them to know more about them and check if they are in touch with your partner. This obsessive behaviour is toxic for your relationship.
15. You may need to live up to people’s expectations constantly
The need to maintain a happening social life may make you want to live according to it. You may want the latest gadgets or luxury products to be able to show off online, and you may start visiting restaurants and other places not because you are interested but because of all the hype around it online. Your need to update your social media can affect not just your bank balance, but also your relationship with your partner, who might disapprove of this behavior.
Let’s admit it; we all have indulged in stalking other people’s social media at least once. Everyone wants to know where someone is working, whom they are married to, and where they are vacationing. This need to know other people’s business leads you to feel inadequate and affects your self-esteem. But remember, if you are not happy with yourself, you cannot make someone else happy with you. Social media is a powerful tool that can help you in many ways, but misusing it will steal your happiness and ruin your relationships.
References:
1. Social Media Use and Its Impact on Relationships and Emotions; Brigham Young University BYU ScholarsArchive
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Kimberley